Money doesn’t change the people, it shows who they really are.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two
Social media is training us to compare our lives, instead of appreciating everything we are. No wonder why everyone is always depressed.
– Bill Murray
Old people at weddings always poke me and say “you’re next”.
So, I started doing the same thing at funerals.
I’m not insulting you.
I’m describing you.
I’m returning your nose dear!
I found it in my business.
You smell like drama and a headache, please get away from me.
Is being stupid a profession or you just gifted?
Keep talking, you’ll say something intelligent.
Brains are not everything. In fact, in your case they are nothing.
You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
When a girl sends hearts and a lot of anonymous love notes, it’s known as having a “secret admirer.”
But when I do it, it’s “stalking” and the police get called.
Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are.
Frankly, my humour is for my enjoyment, it is inconsequential if you get it or not.
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